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We've been close companions with a woman, a person who's overcome several challenges, which I admire. Yet, she's repeatedly caught off guard by others. Her partner ended their marriage, and it was a huge shock. A lot of close acquaintances vanished during that time, since they had been drawn to him. It shocked her. She made more effort to be my friend, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues In Relationships

In the time since, many close to her have drifted apart leaving her knowing the cause. The company she worked for became hostile, although she was very skilled at her work, and she left without knowing the reason for the change.

Current Dynamics

Lately, both of us stepped back from work leading to more time together, yet I realize my position between us feels one-sided. I open subjects but she shifts conversation onto her own topics. Politically, she has strong opinions. I try to propose factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been planning a holiday abroad I've visited on several occasions and lived in for a while. I tried to share advice, however, my input unappreciated. She really solely sought me to confirm her decisions. I've just come back from 30 days in that place and she wants to meet, yet I'm reluctant.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate to be a friend who cuts and runs abruptly, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the effect of how she acts on my confidence. At this point, I am in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Ways Forward

One option is to walk away, yet this is seldom the peaceful resolution we hope for. But confrontation aiming for resolution demands strength and openness for each of you.

Experts suggest trying a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"Initially involves describing the usual pattern during your discussions. It should be objective and clear like an unbiased account. The second involves sharing how this makes you feel. There should be no argument here. Emotions belong to you, naturally. Finally is to question how you are both can shift the interaction of your friendship."

Keep in mind your friend has her own side, so you need to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak and I'm going to not say anything for 30 minutes."

It's wildly effective in fostering mutual respect.

Key Takeaways

Your friend may dismiss everything, as some people have a “survival narrative”: they maintain a story about themselves they cannot release because their very survival relies on it and it's all they trust. It's tough as there is no clear path with these people, only cul-de-sacs. However, she might at first react like this then consider about what you've said. And even if you never reach a fix, you'll have closure from having been honest with her.